How You Ruined My Life by Jeff Strand

Author:Jeff Strand
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2018-01-31T05:00:00+00:00

16.

After dropping off Clarissa and Mel, it occurs to me that if Blake didn’t bribe the audience members, then he has successfully ruined my night by making me think he did. If that’s the case, then he’s very, very good at this whole life-destroying thing. I have to give him credit for his skills.

Nah. He bribed ’em.

“I apologize for not believing you at school today,” says Audrey.

“Do you believe me now?”

She hesitates. “I believe you more than I did at school.”

“Audrey!”

“What? I still have trouble with the idea of him throwing rat guts in his own face! It doesn’t compute for me!”

“So why are you even apologizing if you still don’t believe me?”

“Because I feel bad.”

“Well, you should.”

“I just want you to consider the idea that if he brought in the audience, he did it out of kindness.”

“He did it out of evil.”

“Which makes more sense? That he convinced people to go to the show—through financial means or whatever—because he was trying to hurt you or because he was trying to help you?”

“The second one makes more sense,” I admit. “And that’s what Blake is counting on. That’s how he operates. If he does things that make no logical sense, then I sound stupid when I accuse him of the truth. It’s kind of genius, if you think about it. But maybe he’s not a genius. Either one of those work. Whichever it is, I promise you that he doesn’t have my best interest or the best interest of Fanged Grapefruit in mind.”

“Okay,” says Audrey.

“What did you mean by that?” I ask suspiciously.

“I meant okay.”

“You said it in a weird way that doesn’t make me think you meant it.”

“Fine. So I didn’t fully commit to the okay.”

“Then don’t commit to the okay. See if I care.”

Audrey stares out the window for a minute. Then she turns back to me. “Blake made me promise not to tell, but I’m going to anyway. You know those band shirts that a couple of people were wearing at the show?”

“Yeah.”

“Blake bought them. He said he knew you didn’t like having him around and that you’d be upset if you found out that he was promoting the show, but he said that he believed in Fanged Grapefruit and wanted to see it succeed, so he was going to do everything he could to help out.”

“So he did bribe them!”

“He gave a few people an incentive to have a good time.”

“I can’t believe you kept Blake’s secret from me!”

“I didn’t. I blabbed it the same night he asked me not to tell. It’s been, like, two hours.”

“Well, this is wonderful. What a treat for me that you’re working with my nemesis. Anything else I should know?”

“We’ll talk about this more when you’re calmer.”

“Oh, goody. I can’t wait to hear how else you betrayed me.”

“I didn’t betray you, Rod. I sold Blake a couple of shirts so that he could help you.”

What about you, reader? Are you on Blake’s side too? You probably think he’s oh-so-charming! Oh,

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